A Day at the Beach
by StarCeres
Summary: Three overly-hyper yaoi loving authoresses enjoy a day at the beach with some of their favorite bishies. Beware of innuendo, language, and lots of yaoi.


**Notes: This fic would be the result of: boredom, sugar, and lack of sleep. It was begun almost a year ago, but we just never had the chance to work on it. Finally, however, we finished and it available for your reading pleasure.  **

For reference: SC is Star Ceres, Kei is Keimei, and FM is Lady Firemyst.

**Warnings: This piece of *ahem* literature is rated R for bishies, blatant yaoi, cursing, and random other things that might scare younger readers away. Or scar for life.**

**Disclaimer: We own none of them, unfortunately. They belong to their various creators, including but not limited to: Yuu Watase, Naoko Takeuchi, Sunrise, etc. Imagine the chaos if we did… by the way, the actions of various characters are due simply to the sugar. This fic in no way reflects our actual opinions… some of the time**

*****

It was a dark and stormy night… well, not really. We can say that though. Rather…

Now that you skipped the note go read it. 

And back to the fic.

SC and Kei are sitting at the beach, bored. Suddenly, out of the mysterious hammerspace, walks…Duo Maxwell in a bathing suit. Their jaws drop simultaneously, and they got starry-eyed, looking at his amazing biceps, cut abs, gorgeous violet eyes, and silky brown braided hair. The two star struck girls glance at each other, ready to glomp him, and Kei reaches out and pokes SC.

"Hey, look!" SC turns as an also bathing suit-clad, cobalt eyed, beautifully muscled Heero Yuy walks up. *Drool* He drapes his arms around Duo seductively. 

"Mine," he growls, a dangerously possessive look in his eye. SC's eyes bug, and Kei gasps. 

"Heero! You talked!" Kei exclaims in delight. Duo laughs amusedly, and Heero just glares.

"He does that sometimes," Duo says. "Well, usually sounds more than words…"

"Hn."

"Heero, you know you make more sounds that that!" Duo grins, leaning into his boyfriend's arms and kissing the tip of his nose. Heero blushes at the public display of affection.

"Awwww…" Kei cooed. "How sweet!!"

"Good gods I LOVE hammerspace and it's randomness…" SC sighed. Suddenly, Heero's eyes bug out. SC's eyes glint dangerously.

"I-I-I…OH NO I KNOW YOU!!" Heero jumps back and points as SC. "You… you put me in a doggy suit!" (Refer to 'Fast as You Can')

"Did ya like that?" SC grins, as Kei giggles uncontrollably.

"I loved it!" she exclaims happily. "I typed it!!" Duo raises and eyebrow. 

"Doggy suit?" Duo's grin lights up his face. "I didn't know you like to role-play Hee-chan!" The girls erupt into laughter as Duo continues. "You could've told me earlier! Think of the fun we can have!!" Heero shifts uncomfortably, adjusting his bathing suit so it rode lower on his hipbones…

*sigh* *drool*

"Quatre would enjoy this," Duo smirks, and unexpectedly (with a loud pop) Quatre appears, dragging Trowa by his hair. 

"What would I be enjoying?" he asks, not noticing the girls, who are once again slack-jawed at the boys' state of undress. SC shakes her head.

"Good news for you. I think Duo's horny," she comments amusedly. Quatre drops Trowa unceremoniously on the hard concrete to run and glomp the self-proclaimed Shinigami. Trowa moans ("owowowowow"), due to the fact that his head just dropped on the concrete. Quatre's eyes widen for two reasons; 1. the glare Heero is directing at him for glomping his koi, and 2. Trowa (both the fact that he was dropped and the moans he was emitting). 

Out of nowhere, screaming "I FOUND MY WAY TO HAMMERSPACE!! BIIISHIIIIES!!!!" walks FM dragging a disgruntled Wufei. She stops in front of the other girls, dropping her charge on the ground near Trowa. "I think you missed one," says, wagging her finger and grinning sardonically.

"But- you- hammerspace- how- what- why- bishies!?!" SC stutters, shocked. Kei shakes her head.

"The door," she says, pointing at a rapidly disappearing doorway.

"Damnit you weren't supposed to see that," FM snaps her fingers.

"But how did you get to hammerspace!?!" SC screams.

"Sore wa himetsu desu!!" FM says indignantly, wagging her finger once again. SC snaps her jaws in the general direction of the finger, an insane glint in her eye.

Quatre runs over to console the moaning Trowa, inadvertently knocking the three girls over. They land, screaming, in an undignified heap on top of Wufei. Not noticing the mayhem he has caused, the blonde pets Trowa's hair, murmuring…something…to the other boy, who blushes under the attention.

Meanwhile, Kei and FM have chibified and attached themselves to the Chinese pilot (who sports an attractive bump on his forehead) and they scream "GOMEN NASAI WUFFIE-CHAN!! GOMEN NASAI!!" Consequently, Wufei, a.k.a. Wuffie-chan, struggles, screaming and ranting. "AHH!!! GET OFF OF ME DAMN ONNAS! INJUSTICE! INJUSTICE I TELL YOU!! INJUSTICE!! INJUSTICE AND UNESSECARY CRUELTY!  THIS IS AN ABOMINATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS!! IINNJUUUUSTIIIICE!!!" SC, however, just sits, making exasperated Hamtaro™ noises. Heero and Duo laugh detachedly, preoccupied with… well, let's not get into that.

Enter Chichiri, stage left, humming "Ka Chou Fuu Getsu" and swinging his staff. Tasuki follows closely, cursing fluently, wondering "How the hell did I get here? And where the hell is HERE!?"

Kei's face perks up as she hears the stream of curses in Tasuki's unmistakable Kansai accent. She turns to see the bishies of Fushigi Yuugi. Letting go of Wuffie-chan, she launches herself at the seishi, pummeling them into the ground as all three go chibi and she glomps them, all the while screaming "TAS-CHAN TAS-CHAN TAS-CHAN!!!" FM lets go of Wufei as well, running chibi-style, following Kei's example. SC just sits there and shakes her head.

The red-headed seishi is lost to view as he is toppled by the over-enthusiastic, chibified girls, intent on glomping a chibi-Tasuki to death. Another string of curses is heard clearly to the rest of the room, along with many versions of "Tasuki we love you" "It's okay Tas-chan" and "KAWAII!!!!!" in high squeaky fan-girl voices. 

The wing seishi attempted to appeal to his lover for help, but the monk could only laugh at the mess his koi had gotten himself into. He just looked so cute as a chibi! "Don't Tasuki-chan. It's only for a little while longer," he replies with a smile.

The bandit glares once more and begins to speak. "Fuck it…" 

A sudden flurry of sakura blossoms and a lilting flute overture interrupt the seishi midsentence. Everyone looks around and acts surprised (acts, mind you) when they see Chiba Mamoru amid the fragrant flowers. SC's eyes widen and she pulls out a small flag attached to a suction cup. She rushes Mamoru and plants the suction cup firmly on top of his head. He raises an eyebrow.

"I CLAIM THE STRAIGHT ONE!!"

Mamoru glares at SC, not quite comprehending her actions and wondering where the hell he is. "See?" she says to him, pointing at Heero and Duo, who are being very *ahem* antisocial. Mamoru looks frightened.

FM pops out of chibiness and exclaims, "Straight one? Where?" As a non-chibi Kei walks up to Duo and pokes him.

"Duo-chan, if you're going to be antisocial do it somewhere else!!" she admonishes.

"Don't you want to watch?" he asks boldly. Kei blushes. SC laughs. 

"Dude, you're scarring the man for life!!" She opens a hammerspace door to a lovely honeymoon suit and pushes the happy couple in. "Enjoy!" She slams the door as Duo begins to drag his lover to the heart-shaped bed. She locks the door amidst bursts of laughter and the group is left with a random doorway. Kei fishes around in a pocket no one knew she had and proudly hung a "Don't Open Before X-Mas" sign for effect.

Mamoru looks down and blushes, then glares. Still covered in sakura blossoms he fixes his eyes on the three not-quite-innocent looking girls. "I was going to ask if you are old enough for this, but a more pressing question has come to mind." He pauses, probably for dramatic effect, which was of course totally lost on all present due to state of hyperness. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! SAKURA BLOSSOMS?! I THROW **ROSES** NOT FUCKING SAKU…." 

The ranting tuxedo-clad man is suddenly silenced by the large piece of duct tape slapped over his mouth by an evilly grinning Kei. "Censor yo'self boy!!!!" SC admonishes, looking shocked.

"Yeah, I thought we weren't old enough for this," FM adds, looking for all the world like a lost puppy about to cry, simply because it was possible. Mamoru's face went long at the sight of the puppy-dog eyes. It was impossible to decide whether to comfort the girls or scream at them. It was only as he attempted to open his mouth did he realize his options were limited. The damned girls had stuck that piece of tape over to his mouth! "Ovgjgifjchgudhgiuhbdhugbud" he says simply, with no other choice.

Kei looks at her friends who stare back, equally as confused. "Hugbud?" she asks. A split second later realization hits like a ton of bricks falling from the rafters. SC glares up at the intern quickly making tracks in the opposite direction. "Metaphor. Geez," she mumbles. "That was really bad, just so you know."

As SC was making her philosophical statement of the story, Kei and FM scream "HUGBUD!!!" at each other. "GROUP HUG!!!" Before anyone has a chance to react to the loud noise, all bishies (minus Heero and Duo) and the authoresses are in a heap on the floor.

"You know, this could get interesting fast…" SC says. Quickly, the group becomes untangled, except for a few, and cloths are straightened as blushes recede to the sound of a door being opened and closed quickly.

"You mean you don't want it to get interesting?" a familiar voice smirks. Kei turns around to see the violet-eyed Deathscythe pilot draped around his boyfriend. 

"Back so soon?" Quatre asks, mildly sarcastic. "Don't you usually take a bit longer?" 

"Ah, Quat, couldn't stay away too long. I'm missing out on all the fun…well, some of the fun."

SC, feeling horribly blunt, interjects. "What? The group sex?" she asks, feigning a look of innocence everyone knew she didn't possess.

"Group WHAT!!??" Kei and FM exclaim, while at the same time Duo screams, "And you let me miss it!?"

SC falls to the ground laughing at her joke. A few moments later, she sits up. "Unfortunately, we have "borrowed" the bishies for too long as it is. A number of faxes, e-mails, etc. have come in demanding the return of stolen property…" Her voice trails off, eyes following the movements of five young men down the beach.

Kei snaps her fingers in front of her friend's face. "Yo, Ceres, you there?" She receives no reply, just a shimmer of drool at the side of her mouth. Kei sighs. This means only one thing. 

Sure enough, the men down the beach are none other than SC's favorite band, N*Sync. Before anyone could speak, the girl was running down the sand, fully intent on catching them and forcing them to do Kami knows what… She turns back halfway there and yells "Hey guys! You can have the straight one!" before continuing on her quest.

Kei and FM turn to the bishies near them, maniacal glint in their eyes. "Oh boys!" they chorused in a sing-song voice. Chaos ensues.

***

That's it. There be no more, there be no sequel. This one took long enough. Please review though. ^_^ We loves you all!!

Keimei, Star Ceres, Firemyst


End file.
